... and then I tripped.

vivianahhhh: lougonzalez: The Mannequin Room is one of Time...

Wed, 03 Apr 2013 05:11:47 -1000

lougonzalez:

The Mannequin Room is one of Time Out Chicago’s Picks for the Chicago Improv Festival!

Hell yeah it is.

I think Jimmy Fallon sums up my feelings on this.

"‘I feel more connected to my female fan base as a single man,’ Usher says. This newfound..."

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 07:56:49 -1000

“‘I feel more connected to my female fan base as a single man,’ Usher says. This newfound comfort is evident throughout the heavily sensual collection. On the inventive ‘Lay You Down,’ for instance, he pledges to love his special lady in a variety of ways, from mentally to physically. ‘Hot Tottie’ is equally sexual, although with a heavier, darker bent. Produced by Polow Da Don and featuring a dazzling guest rap from Jay-Z, this thunderous, intense tune details the risqué adventures of maintaining a secret, illicit rendezvous.”

- I just want to applaud the person who wrote this for UsherWorld.com.

I’ve been watching a lot of Portlandia recently, and I...

Sun, 27 Jan 2013 06:47:13 -1000

I’ve been watching a lot of Portlandia recently, and I feel very strongly that this is how my family talks about me when I’m not around.

"He was in an actor jail for a couple of years. We have all done it. I did ‘Batman and Robin’; trust..."

Fri, 18 Jan 2013 12:51:51 -1000

“He was in an actor jail for a couple of years. We have all done it. I did ‘Batman and Robin’; trust me, I know. And just a lot of times it is how you handle yourself when things are not going particularly well. That’s what creates a career as opposed to just, you know, you had a good run. He directed his way out of this.”

- Cloons speaking kindly about Ben Affleck and in the process, making me want to make out with his face even more.

chrisreblogs: 404ingit: khealywu: The Fascinator is this...

Tue, 08 Jan 2013 11:27:25 -1000

chrisreblogs:

404ingit:

khealywu:

The Fascinator is this Saturday at 7 PM! I’m so excited for this line-up! Christopher Scott, Abbi Jacobson, Shaun Diston and Chrissie Gruebel! They are lovely and hilarious and this show is going to be a great show so you better come! Yeah! Exclamed!

Make a reservation here! Bring your whole office! Paired with Pat Baer’s 404ing It!

Always thrilled to be paired with Katey’s show! All of her awesome, plus me and MC CHRIS for $5!!!

Not counting myself, this is a night of greatness.

Counting me, it is a night of greatness and a bit of me.

I couldn’t be more excited to be on the panel for Katey’s show.

So many of my favorite performers in one place! It’s gonna be so fun!

there's a time to talk about gun control, but I don't know if that time is now.

Fri, 14 Dec 2012 12:50:29 -1000

I get it. The fact that right now is the worst time to talk about gun control is almost the point, right? It’s fresh. It’s raw. We have to do it while the nation is reeling from tragedy and hope it makes people reconsider their core beliefs and chuck their guns. We need to hold on to the gravity of this event. We need to remember what it feels like to sit at our computers/TVs and cry all day because every single one of us is thinking about a kid they know and love right now. We can’t forget how horrible it feels to be helpless and be reminded so fucking painfully that our babies are growing up in a world where they can be shot—and kids who are old enough to understand have grown up in a world where they have no reasonable expectation of safety … anywhere. ANYWHERE.

But think for a second. Why wouldn’t five hours after a terrible tragedy be the right time? Because people are grieving. Do we want to point to grieving people—whose loss cannot be even be comprehended—and say “LOOK! SEE? This is why we’re right!”

I’m worried we’re making these people who just lost their children into immediate statistics we can use in our arguments against reckless idiots with assault rifles who maybe don’t even deserve to be argued with in the first place.

And I know. I KNOW. I want to lock and load my own assault rifles … of logic. I understand the impulse to start this talk—I want to have this talk, too! So much! And maybe having this conversation rightnow feels like a way to wrest control from a situation that made us all realize (yet again) how fucking powerless we are.

But.

I fear a lack of humanity more than I fear any weapon. And this just feels … callous. No judgement implied or intended, this is just where I’m at and no one has the right to tell another person how to respond to something like this. But I fear the impulses that fast forward the process of feeling our feelings and move us right along into immediate action. And I hate feelings, but this is necessary.

I can’t get away from the thought that “act now, feel later” is exactly what guns represent. Act now, feel later. Shoot first, ask questions later. Fast and loud.

First, can we just talk about how sad and scared we are? More than a Facebook post or a tweet. Let’s really just stop for a minute and hold these families in our hearts even though it hurts so much. It’s just too much for each of us to do it alone. It’s too big for one person.

The gun control conversation can maybe definitely happen tomorrow.

I am in awe of people who can make their own fashions for so...

Tue, 11 Dec 2012 10:06:56 -1000

What it looked like before

My sparkly future

I am in awe of people who can make their own fashions for so many reasons … but mostly it’s because I usually decide what I want to wear before I actually go shopping. Lots of times the clothes I want don’t exist, or they don’t exist they way I’ve imagined them and/or don’t cost $40 like I want them to. If I could just make clothes, this would no longer be an issue.

I have no idea how I got my degree in theater without ever learning how to use a sewing machine. I couldn’t even look at one without breaking it. I spent my required tech hours in the shop playing with the Sawzalls.

Luckily, I went to school with people like Cat who are awesome (generally as a human and also at being a designer!) I put my vintage dress in her hands because it’s been sitting around my apartment(s) for the past 4 years, not being worn. Classy!
And per usual, I’ll just be sitting around and playing with Sawzalls (what?) while other people do the important work.

You should hire Cat for basically everything because she is so talented. After this dress is done, I’m going to have her build me a vacation chalet.

This is Cat’s take on the process and her site, which you should stalk liberally.

16 Reasons You Should Never Be Afraid To Fail

Thu, 06 Dec 2012 11:54:27 -1000

16 Reasons You Should Never Be Afraid To Fail:

via Buzzfeed.

I think maybe a tangential point of this is to just be prolific, whether you’re hitting a shitload of homeruns or free throws or just writing songs or whatever? I mean, when I see a bunch of numbers, my brain starts singing “Everybody Dance Now” and refuses to pay attention … but I think that’s kind of the gist. Rickey Henderson might have been thrown out 355 times, but he also made it a ton of times too—and when you add all that together, that’s a pretty reckless number of attempts.

If I put out 100 stories in my lifetime, maybe 3 of them will be really great (big maybe, but go with it). But what happens if I only write 3?

This post is more for me than it is for you.

Baby sizing. That’s Numberwang? One of those sizes has to...

Tue, 04 Dec 2012 09:46:05 -1000

Baby sizing.

That’s Numberwang? One of those sizes has to be shinty-six.

nicolemarietherese: I feel like this last season of 30 Rock...

Mon, 03 Dec 2012 13:07:53 -1000

nicolemarietherese:

I feel like this last season of 30 Rock has, in a lot of ways, just been a love letter to a very specific segment of the viewing population.

KMcG: I Was Mugged on Sunday

Sat, 01 Dec 2012 05:45:48 -1000

KMcG: I Was Mugged on Sunday:

khealywu:

kmcg:

So, I was mugged on Sunday. I’m alright, but freaked and pretty angry and I have to talk about it a lot so that I can eventually feel better.

I wrote about my experience for the board of my building so that they could distribute it to the residents and people could know what happened. Below is…

I saw this last night right as I was about to go to sleep and had to close out of it because my heart immediately started racing. Kerry’s story is very similar to what happened to me in 2009. Being aware is good. Every few paces look around keep an eye on everyone. If people are acting weird or crowding your space, circle back to a block where there are people and go inside a bodega or bar.

The other thing I will add that if you’re put in a position where you can no longer physically fight (like being thrown on the floor with a knee on your chest) start talking—loudly, yes, but keep talking. It can be confusing and overwhelming for your attacker and it humanizes you. It’s harder for (non-sociopaths) to hurt another person who is talking to them about their life.

I’m really glad you’re okay, Kerry. We’ll talk soon.

I’m very indignant about my personal safety. It pisses me off that as a woman who’s very often by herself, I’m basically just a walking target. I often do things like riding the subway home late at night because I should be able to do it without fear and because I am defiant and stubborn.

Kerry, I’m so relieved you’re ok. Thanks for the reminder that this is a shitty world sometimes. We gotta look out for ourselves and each other.

mikecornnell: I like how this comic came out! Haven’t tried a...

Tue, 27 Nov 2012 15:39:08 -1000

mikecornnell:

I like how this comic came out! Haven’t tried a listy comic in a while, but I think we did a good job on this one. Always nice to have a good laugh about death and illegal butts, right?

“Snickers’ lung” and “The New Zealand Clap-Claps” !!!!!!!

This commercial creeps me the fuck out. It sets up a world in...

Fri, 23 Nov 2012 06:34:51 -1000

This commercial creeps me the fuck out.

It sets up a world in which not only can humans talk, but lizards and Pop-tarts can, too. The lizard owns a house with a kitchen and reads a newspaper! I don’t even read the newspaper! That Pop-tart feels fear! They’re too much like humans. That lizard is probably more informed than I am.

AND ERGO, if lizards, Pop-tarts and humans are all on the same level, then I have no choice but to believe that the lizard murdered this Pop-tart. It was premeditated. There was mens rea.

That’s how Kellogg’s is trying to peddle its wares?! In no world are Pop-tarts good enough to kill for. They’re shingles with icing. Get real—show latchkey kids making themselves breakfast. That’s how you fucking sell Pop-tarts.

These are but a few tracks from the new Now That’s What I...

Mon, 19 Nov 2012 17:07:16 -1000

These are but a few tracks from the new Now That’s What I Call Today’s Christmas!

I think we can all agree that “Mittens” by Carly Rae Jepsen and “Shake Up Christmas” by Train are the holiday classics we’ll all enjoy in the nuclear wasteland that is our future.

twoprov project: 10 down, 24 to go.

Thu, 15 Nov 2012 06:46:00 -1000

EDITED: We’re not gonna be rich after all. The show, alas, has been cancelled. I’m the Charlie Brown of improv this month.

Tonight marks the return of the Twoprov Project after a bit of a hiatus. I’d just like to take this moment to say that this hiatus was meant to end sooner, but my shows with Alex French and Matt Cohen were cancelled due to Hurricane Sandy.

Fuck Hurricane Sandy. I think I spelled “cancelled” the British way, but I’m gonna let it ride.

Not Neighbors—Cory Palmer and myself—will be performing tonight at Triple Crown at 8 p.m.!

I’m excited for this and I’m excited to resched my shows with Alex and Matt and I’m excited for all the other great people coming up.

We’re all gonna be rich!

my day in YouTube videos.

Wed, 07 Nov 2012 10:53:44 -1000

• When I crawl in at 10 a.m. because I was up away too late the night before.

• When my team wins & the copy stays the way we wrote it.

• When I tell people the information they want should’ve been provided on the creative brief—but then they screenshot the brief and the request was there all along.

• When I hear the big guns loved the brainstorm concepts my team came up with …

… but they’re just gonna go with what we did last year.

• When someone schedules a meeting for 5:30 p.m.

• When I have to interact with the fresh-out-of-college buying assistants:
What they act like.

What I see.

• When other people in the office are talking and laughing when I’m super busy.

• When other people in the office are talking and laughing when I’m NOT super busy.

• When I’m watching that laughing baby on the Internet or Googling something embarrassing like “how do you know if you have gingivitis?” or “why do people hate Lolo Jones?” and someone comes into my cubicle.

Thought about this tweet today and laughed uncontrollably at my...

Thu, 01 Nov 2012 11:17:00 -1000

Thought about this tweet today and laughed uncontrollably at my desk.

buzzfeedceleb: gifsfln: Seth Meyers on the Steroid Era of...

Tue, 30 Oct 2012 07:08:07 -1000

buzzfeedceleb:

gifsfln:

Seth Meyers on the Steroid Era of storms.

From last night’s Late Night filmed during Sandy, with no audience members.

Photo

Sun, 28 Oct 2012 09:47:21 -1000